But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
