Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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