I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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