on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
