my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
