How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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