isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
