At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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