tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
