Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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