well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
