just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
