Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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