This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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