Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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