Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
