no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
