Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize