Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Ladies don't puke and tell
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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