I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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