Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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