God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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