it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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