Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
