Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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