I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
