Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Green mimosas i think yes
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
