Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize