The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
