it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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