So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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