I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry about my life...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
