i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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