ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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