She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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