who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize