We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
