Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
