I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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