You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
