it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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