my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
