maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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