i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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