that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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