I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
