you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have fence marks all over my body
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He did a backflip because drugs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
