Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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