Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
whose parrot is this?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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