Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
