I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
