we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
