we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
now i know why i became what i already was.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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