I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
