stop calling my apartment porn island.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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