I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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