lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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