I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
