i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
