Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
