um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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