Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
