I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
