1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
