He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will be naked everywhere
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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