she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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