The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize