ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Even the bartender felt bad for me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
