Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
